just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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