I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
