You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
