I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
