Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
