hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
