i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
