I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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