As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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