found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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