Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
