i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
