so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Randomize
