YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You are a genius and a whore.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
