You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
