No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I had to cum in my sink.
dude. I can hear the air.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
