Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
