You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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