I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
