You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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