i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
