So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
