i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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