Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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