We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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