i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
