Why are handjobs necessary in class?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
