I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
