I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
