i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
