I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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