he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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