I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
