it was like eating out sand paper
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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