bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's shark week go big or go home
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
