And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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