you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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