i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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