watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
