he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Hippo gnu deer
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
