The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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