I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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