did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
