u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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