Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
