"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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