I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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