she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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