I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
