so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
