Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
