I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
