glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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