i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
