Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
