I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
